Prayers and Meditations for Life (2)

O Lord, open Thou my lips
And my mouth shall show forth thy praise.
O God, make speed to save me
O Lord, make haste to help me.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit; as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be: world without end. Amen. Alleluia.

Hymn. Castae Parentis viscera.

Within that Parent’s spotless breast
The Grace of heaven descends to rest;
The Maiden in her womb doth bear.
But how, her tongue may not declare.

Her bosom meek, all suddenly
Becomes the shrine of God Most High;
She knows not man, the Undefiled,
Yet she conceives the Holy Child.

Let glory everlasting be,
O Lord, Thou Virgin’s Son, to Thee,
With Father and with Paraclete,
To endless ages, as is meet. Amen.

Psalm 120 (RSV)

Antiphon: “I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life,” says the Lord

1 In my distress I cry to the LORD, that he may answer me:
2 “Deliver me, O LORD, from lying lips, from a deceitful tongue.”
3 What shall be given to you? And what more shall be done to you, you deceitful tongue?
4 A warrior’s sharp arrows, with glowing coals of the broom tree!
5 Woe is me, that I sojourn in Meshech, that I dwell among the tents of Kedar!
6 Too long have I had my dwelling among those who hate peace.
7 I am for peace; but when I speak, they are for war!

Antiphon: “I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life,” says the Lord

Father, This Psalm is a “song of ascent,” prayed by the faithful of old as they made their pilgrimage to the temple to worship you.  From you they sought protection from marauding bandits, some so deceitful they disguised themselves as fellow pilgrims seeking to give you glory, when in reality they were planning on plundering and murdering your faithful ones.  Today, Lord, there are those who seek the destruction of your faithful one by lies and deceit as they pursue their political pogrom against life, this they do in the name of your Son and His holy Church; defeat them for the sake of your name.

Psalm 125

Antiphon: May the scepter of the wicked not rest on the land of the just.

Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides for ever.
2 As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the LORD is round about his people, from this time forth and for evermore.
3 For the scepter of wickedness shall not rest upon the land allotted to the righteous, lest the righteous put forth their hands to do wrong.
4 Do good, O LORD, to those who are good, and to those who are upright in their hearts!
5 But those who turn aside upon their crooked ways the LORD will lead away with evildoers! Peace be in Israel!

Antiphon: May the scepter of the wicked not rest on the land of the just.

Let us pray.
O God, our refuge and our strength, look down with mercy upon the people who cry to Thee; and by the intercession of the glorious and immaculate Virgin Mary, Mother of God, of Saint Joseph her spouse, of the blessed Apostles Peter and Paul, and of all the saints, in Thy mercy and goodness hear our prayers for the conversion of sinners, and for the liberty and exaltation of the Holy Mother the Church. Through the same Christ Our Lord. Amen.

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle; be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray: and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, Have mercy on us.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, Have mercy on us.
Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, Have mercy on us. (From the prayers after Low Mass proscribed by Pope Leo XIII)

Psalm 2

Antiphon: I have set My King on Zion, My holy hill.

1 Why do the nations conspire, and the peoples plot in vain?
2 The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD and his anointed, saying,
3 “Let us burst their bonds asunder, and cast their cords from us.”
4 He who sits in the heavens laughs; the LORD has them in derision.
5 Then he will speak to them in his wrath, and terrify them in his fury, saying,
6 “I have set my king on Zion, my holy hill.”
7 I will tell of the decree of the LORD: He said to me, “You are my son, today I have begotten you.
8 Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage, and the ends of the earth your possession.
9 You shall break them with a rod of iron, and dash them in pieces like a potter’s vessel.”
10 Now therefore, O kings, be wise; be warned, O rulers of the earth.
11 Serve the LORD with fear, with trembling
12 kiss his feet, lest he be angry, and you perish in the way; for his wrath is quickly kindled. Blessed are all who take refuge in him.

Antiphon: I have set My King on Zion, My holy hill.

Lord, we ask you to strengthen us and our priests and bishops to fight for the Gospel of life against those who would distort it for the sake of their politics, their wallets, and their prestige.

Reading 1

But when they had commanded them to go aside out of the council, they conferred with one another, 16 saying, “What shall we do with these men? For that a notable sign has been performed through them is manifest to all the inhabitants of Jerusalem, and we cannot deny it. 17 But in order that it may spread no further among the people, let us warn them to speak no more to any one in this name.” 18 So they called them and charged them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. 19 But Peter and John answered them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge; 20 for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.” 21 And when they had further threatened them, they let them go, finding no way to punish them, because of the people; for all men praised God for what had happened. 22 For the man on whom this sign of healing was performed was more than forty years old.

When they were released they went to their friends and reported what the chief priests and the elders had said to them. 24 And when they heard it, they lifted their voices together to God and said, “Sovereign Lord, who didst make the heaven and the earth and the sea and everything in them, 25 who by the mouth of our father David, thy servant, didst say by the Holy Spirit, `Why did the Gentiles rage, and the peoples imagine vain things? 26 The kings of the earth set themselves in array, and the rulers were gathered together, against the Lord and against his Anointed’ — 27 for truly in this city there were gathered together against thy holy servant Jesus, whom thou didst anoint, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, with the Gentiles and the peoples of Israel, 28 to do whatever thy hand and thy plan had predestined to take place. 29 And now, Lord, look upon their threats, and grant to thy servants to speak thy word with all boldness, 30 while thou stretchest out thy hand to heal, and signs and wonders are performed through the name of thy holy servant Jesus.” 31 And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken; and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God with boldness. (Acts of Apostles, 4:15-31 RSV)

Reading 2

The Catholic Church glories in every deed of Christ. Her supreme glory, however, is the cross. Well aware of this, Paul says: God forbid that I glory in anything but the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ!

At Siloam, there was a sense of wonder, and rightly so. A man born blind recovered his sight. But of what importance is this, when there are so many blind people in the world? Lazarus rose from the dead, but even this affected only Lazarus. What of those countless numbers who have died because of their sins? Those miraculous loaves fed five thousand people. Yet this is a small number compared to those all over the world who were starved by ignorance. After eighteen years a woman was freed from the bondage of Satan. But are we not all shackled by the chains of our own sins?

For us all, however, the cross is the crown of victory! It has brought light to those blinded by ignorance. It has released those enslaved by sin. Indeed, it has redeemed the whole of mankind!
Do not, then, be ashamed of the cross of Christ; rather, glory in it. Although it is a stumbling block to the Jews and folly to the Gentiles, the message of the cross is our salvation. Of course it is folly to those to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it was not a mere man who died for us, but the Son of God, God made man.

In the Mosaic law a sacrificial lamb banished the destroyer. But now it is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. Will he not free us from our sins even more? The blood of an animal, a sheep, brought salvation. Will not the blood of the only-begotten Son bring us greater salvation?

He was not killed by violence, he was not forced to give up his life. His was a willing sacrifice. Listen to his own words: I have the power to lay down my life and take it up again. Yes, he willingly submitted to his own passion. He took joy in his achievement; in his crown of victory he was glad and in the salvation of man he rejoiced. He did not blush at the cross for by it he was to save the world. No, it was not a lowly man who suffered but God incarnate. He entered the contest for the reward he would win by his patient endurance.

Certainly in times of tranquillity the cross should give you joy. But maintain the same faith in times of persecution. Otherwise you will be a friend of Jesus in times of peace and his enemy during war. Now you receive the forgiveness of your sins and the generous gift of grace from your king. When war comes, fight courageously for him.

Jesus never sinned; yet he was crucified for you. Will you refuse to be crucified for him, who for your sake was nailed to the cross? You are not the one who gives the favour; you have received one first. For your sake he was crucified on Golgotha. Now you are returning his favour; you are fulfilling your debt to him. (St Cyril of Jerusalem)

The Crime Syndicate In My Family’s Closet

As I noted in a previous post, I’m related to a family which formed the largest crime syndicate in 19th century America, the Loomis Gang.  What follows is an online article by a direct descendant of the Loomis’

<strong>Disappearing Evidence – The Rise and Fall of the Loomis Gang</strong><br>The Loomis Gang was a powerful crime syndicate of the mid-1800s, based in Central New York. You might think of them as the English-descended equivalent to the Mafia. They were finally overthrown by a local uprising at the conclusion of the Civil War.<br><a href=’http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/432959/disappearing_evidence_the_rise_and.html’>View more »</a>

For Further Reading:

The New York Sun’s History of the Loomis Gang. An online article originally published in 1877.

The Loomis Gang and the Ghost of Wash Loomis.  An online article from the student newspaper of Colgate University.

The Loomis Gang.  An online video.  The Loomis Gang tells the tale of the 19th century’s largest family crime syndicate from the perspective of a dedicated group of local history buffs and filmmaker Brian Peter Falk (sorry, the video includes some commercials)

Frontier Justice: The Rise and Fall of the Loomis Gang.  A book available for purchase.  Considered to be the definitive history of the gang.

The Most Dreaded Phrase

I heard spoken tonight, for the first time in five whole months, the most dreaded phrase in my very limited lexicon: “persistent squall areas.”

Nooooooooooooo!

Wet, heavy snow, accompanied by strong winds.  Danger of falling tree limbs and electrical wires.  And so, seven months of winter begins.

Beginning Today: A Rosary Novena For Life

(At left, my stature of Or Blessed Lady Of Victory. A Litany to her -along with other prayers-can be found HERE, scroll down to find)

From Father John Corapi: Among the most important titles we have in the Catholic Church for the Blessed Virgin Mary are Our Lady of Victory and Our Lady of the Rosary. These titles can be traced back to one of the most decisive times in the history of the world and Christendom. The Battle of Lepanto took place on October 7 (date of feast of Our Lady of Rosary), 1571. This proved to be the most crucial battle for the Christian forces against the radical Muslim navy of Turkey. Pope Pius V led a procession around St. Peter’s Square in Vatican City praying the Rosary. He showed true pastoral leadership in recognizing the danger posed to Christendom by the radical Muslim forces, and in using the means necessary to defeat it. Spiritual battles require spiritual weapons, and this more than anything was a battle that had its origins in the spiritual order—a true battle between good and evil.

Today we have a similar spiritual battle in progress—a battle between the forces of good and evil, light and darkness, truth and lies, life and death. If we do not soon stop the genocide of abortion in the United States, we shall run the course of all those that prove by their actions that they are enemies of God—total collapse, economic, social, and national. The moral demise of a nation results in the ultimate demise of a nation. God is not a disinterested spectator to the affairs of man. Life begins at conception. This is an unalterable formal teaching of the Catholic Church. If you do not accept this you are a heretic in plain English. A single abortion is homicide. The more than 48,000,000 abortions since Roe v. Wade in the United States constitute genocide by definition. The group singled out for death—unwanted, unborn children.

No other issue, not all other issues taken together, can constitute a proportionate reason for voting for candidates that intend to preserve and defend this holocaust of innocent human life that is abortion.

I strongly urge every one of you to make a Novena and pray the Rosary to Our Lady of Victory between October 27th and Election Day, November 4th. Pray that God’s will be done and the most innocent and utterly vulnerable of our brothers and sisters will be protected from this barbaric and grossly sinful blight on society that is abortion. No woman, and no man, has the right to choose to murder an innocent human being.

May God grant us the wisdom, knowledge, understanding, and counsel to form our conscience in accordance with authentic Catholic teaching, and then vote that well‐formed Catholic conscience.

Please copy, email, link and distribute this article freely.

God Bless You
Fr. John Corapi
www.fathercorapi.com

The following resources come from a post by Sonitus Sanctus (a great place for finding online audio/video resources)

As for the power of the rosary, CAF poster ‘insight’ shared the following:

Will be happy to join the Election Novena. Glad to see another Blue Army Member, and thanks for some of the History on the Rosary. John Haffert’s (founder of the Blue Army of Fatima) confessor and “lifelong friend”, Father Vernard Poslusney has had great audio on the Power of the Rosary:

007A Mary, Mother of God’s People.mp3

007B Mary, Mother of God’s People.mp3

Wikipedia has a wonderful page dedicated to Haffert. There is an audio file there of him giving a talk on Fatima. He is one of the most powerful and charismatic people I have ever heard, no wonder he built up the Blue Army of Fatima membership to 25 million signed members.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Haffert (link in Media section).

If you’re not big on praying the rosary, maybe now is the time to start. If you need some audio to help guide you on your morning commute, here are a few:

Rosary Prayers (PDF File)

Joyful Mysteries:
Scriptural | Download MP3

Luminous Mysteries:
Scriptural | Download MP3

Sorrowful Mysteries:
Scriptural | Download MP3

Glorious Mysteries:
Scriptural | Download MP3

Bonus Audio:The Rosary Brings DirectionBringing the Mysteries to LifeAlternate MP3 Rosaries:
Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, prayed by all of the seminarians of Cardinal Glennon College, along with the College Director, Fr. Timothy Cronin.

Join the second graders from Holy Trinity School as they pray the Joyful Mysteries – just six days after having received their First Holy Communion!Here’s the Novena prayer:

Our Lady Of The Holy Rosary Novena Prayer

My dearest Mother Mary, behold me, your child, in prayer at your feet. Accept this Holy Rosary, which I offer you in accordance with your requests at Fatima, as a proof of my tender love for you, for the intentions of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, in atonement for the offenses committed against your Immaculate Heart, and for this special favor which I earnestly request in my Rosary Novena: (Mention your request).

I beg you to present my petition to your Divine Son. If you will pray for me, I cannot be refused. I know, dearest Mother, that you want me to seek God’s holy Will concerning my request. If what I ask for should not be granted, pray that I may receive that which will be of greater benefit to my soul.

I offer you this spiritual “Bouquet of Roses” because I love you. I put all my confidence in you, since your prayers before God are most powerful. For the greater glory of God and for the sake of Jesus, your loving Son, hear and grant my prayer. Sweet Heart of Mary, be my salvation.

Vote For Progress

Why is it that self-professed “progressives” and “liberals” look like lemmings?

“When you are edging closer and closer to the abyss, the most progressive direction is backwards.”-Peter Kreeft, BACK TO VIRTUE.

Have you prayed an election novena yet?

What the heck are you waiting for?  Do it now.

http://www.fathercorapi.com/PDF/ …ctionNovena.pdf

You can also do a three day fast.  Hey! Why not do both???

Currently listening to…

…Adventures In Exodus.  An online audio study of Exodus.  You can listen to the half-hour programs HERE.

Classification Of The Sciences And Divisions Of Philosophy

1. Particular and General Sciences. At the time of the thirteenth century, the West possessed a comprehensive classification of the sciences, which we may well look upon as one of the characteristic achievements of the medieval mind, and which, in its main features, lasted up to the time of Wolf.

At the lowest stage we find the particular sciences,-which for the Schoolmen were the same as the experimental sciences. Such as Astronomy, Botany, Zoology, Human Physiology, Medicine, also Civil and Canon Law, which became separate and autonomous sciences in the twelfth century.

They derive their particularity (a) from the material object, which is particular. They are concerned only with a restricted section of the corporeal world. botany, for instance, has nothing to do with economic wealth. (b) From their formal object, which, in consequence of what we have just said, cannot be grasped or abstracted from all reality, but only from a more or less restricted section of it.

But the detailed study of the sensible world by sections does not satisfy the mind. After the details, we seek for a comprehensive view of the whole, and this can only be furnished by philosophy. The man of science is like a stranger who explores a city bit by bit, and walks through its streets, avenues, parks, museums and buildings one after another. When at length he has wandered over the city in all directions, there still remains another way of becoming acquainted with it: from the top of a tower, the city would resent to him another aspect,- its divisions, its general plan, and the relative disposition of its parts. The philosopher is just such a man: he views the world from above as it were, and tries to realize its general structure, for philosophy is a generalized knowledge of things, a synthetic view of that material world of which alone we have direct and proper knowledge, and then by extension, of all that is or can be (3:2). It is human wisdom, science par excellence. This general science or philosophy constitutes the second stage of knowledge.

In contrast to the particular sciences, philosophy derives its generality, (a) from its material object,-which is all that exists or can exist.

The man who takes in, by a single glance, the whole of a city from the top of his tower does not exclude any part of the whole, that which belongs to all and not merely to some of its parts. In the same way philosophy, instead of dealing with only one department of reality, takes in all the real.

(b) From its formal object which consists of points of view that affect and are found in all reality. Indeed these comprehensive views are possible only because the mind seizes in the immensity of reality certain asspects which are present everywhere and in everything, and which in consequence belong to the very essence of reality. Philosophy is defined as the investigation of all things by means of that which is fundamental in them and common to all. Sapientia est scientia quae considerat primas et universales causas (In Metaph., I, lect. 2).

In other words, philosophy is a science which coordinates or makes a synthesis, for the materials it studies and the point of view from which it studies them are both characterized by generality. What are these general and comprehensive points of view or aspects which the human mind discovers in its study of the universe? This question brings us to the division of philosophy.

2. Division of Philosophy. Starting from a well-known classification of Aristotle, Thomas remarks that philosophical sciences admit of a first subdivision into theoretical and practical. The human mind (for all science, as we have seen, is a work of the mind) can come into contact with the real in general, or, as it was then called, the “universal order,” in two ways. In the first place we may study this universal order such as it is in and for itself, and look for its general features, without subordinating this knowledge to ourselves. This constitutes speculative or theoretic philosophy, the end of which is knowledge for its own sake. Or, in the second place one may study the universal order of things not as such, but insofar as it enters into relation with our conscious life (knowing, willing, producing). It is in this sense that this part of philosophy is called practical.

Each of these two groups admits of further subdivision. Speculative philosophy comprises Physics (in the Aristotelian sense), Mathematics, Metaphysics. Practical philosophy includes Logic, Moral Philosophy, Aesthetics. Let us consider these various classifications in the light of the scholastic teaching concerning the construction of the sciences.

3. Speculative Philosophy. The division of speculative philosophy into Physics, Mathematics, Metaphysics does not correspond to three separate sections of being in the universe, but results from the varying profundity of point of view or degree of abstraction with which we study the totality of things. Physics, mathematics and metaphysics, all study the material universe as a whole, but each studies a particular aspect of all reality, change, quantity, and being, respectively.

(a) Physics. Everything is carried along on the stream of change, which the Schoolmen called motus (from moveri). The study of change in its inmost nature and in its general implications is the first step in a general understanding of the universe. It is the task which belongs to Physics or to the philosophy of nature. Since man forms part of the world of sense reality, psychology is a department of physics, and the epistemological inquiry belongs to psychology.

(b) Mathematics. But there is in the sensible universe something more profound than change,-namely, quantity. Fer every change is closely bound up with conditions of time and space in which the change takes place, while quantity, on the contrary, as studied in numbers and geometric figures, is grasped apart from the sensible condition of real quantified beings. Mathematics, which studies quantity and its implications, is for the Schoolmen a general and therefore a philosophical science,-a conception to which contemporary mathematicians tend to return.

(c) Metaphysics. Lastly, beyond change and quantity, metaphysics seizes in the things of experience the most profound aspects of reality, the strata which underlie all the others: being and the general determinations of being such as essence, existence, substance, unity, goodness, action, totality, causality, ect. These most general aspects of reality themselves constitute a synthetic view of the material universe. ut while change, which implies duration of time, and while quantity, which is the primary attribute of bodies, depends on the material state of the universe, this state is not essential to the notion of being or those other ideas which are correlative to it. If there should be suprasensible beings, such as God, or the soul, then these metaphysical notions would be applicable to them, with certain necessary corrections. In this way natural theology and the non-experimental part of scholastic psychology really form part of metaphysics.

4. Practical Philosophy is equally general in character, since through our conscious powers of knowing, willing, and producing we enter into relation with all reality. This general category includes logic, moral philosophy or ethics, and the philosophy of art or aesthetics. Logic draws up a scheme of all that we know, and the method of constructing the sciences; as there is nothing that the human mind cannot know in some imperfect way, logic is a general science. Ethics, again, studies the realm of human conduct, and there is nothing in human life that cannot become the subject of morality. It is to be noted that politics and domestic ethics are, like individual ethics, merely applications of general moral philosophy. The philosophy of arts deals with the order achieved by man externally through the guidance of reason, as when, for example, “he builds a house, or makes a piece of furniture.” Philosophy of art here includes the study of the mechanical as well as the fine arts.

It is easy to realize that we have adopted this philosophical classification in the preceding chapters of this book.

Particular sciences precede philosophy, and the latter must be in a sense based upon them. They program of the Faculty of Arts in the Universe of Paris and Oxford was inspired by this principle. The arrangement by which the particular sciences form the threshold of philosophy gives to the latter an experimental basis, or, as we should say today, a scientific foundation. General views presuppose particular or detailed ones to a certain extent.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

SARAH PALIN – I may not answer the questions the way that the moderator might like to hear them,
but the way that I know Joe Sixpack and the hockey moms want to hear it. I can see both sides of the
road from my house. But what’s important is that we not look backward to where the chicken has been,
also to look forward and see that the chicken is a maverick who was bold and a real hero for going
against his own flock.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken
wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage

in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.

This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this

country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if

the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.

There is no middle ground here.
CHENEY: Where’s my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the

chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the

wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am not for it now, and will

remain against it.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with

the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road.

What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems

before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross

this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is

a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not

live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You can see it in his eyes

and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a

standing order at the Farmer’ s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.

No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken

crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? That’s why

they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will

become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal

media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side.That chicken should not be

crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken

tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went

on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs,

file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of

eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the

chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
JESSE JACKSON: It’s my understanding that there is a soul food restaurant popular among our people on the side of the road the chicken sought to avoid. I also have it on good authority that the chickenl ays white eggs rather than brown. Clearly the chicken is racist and has bought into that whole ‘fried chicken’ stereotype.

JOHN GOTI: What? Hey! I don’t know nothin’!
VOLTAIRE: I don’t know why the chicken crossed the road; nor do I agree with his actions, but I will defend to the death his right to do so.
St Thomas Aquinas: I reject the form of the question, for the form of the question implies a deliberate willful and intellective act on the part of the chicken. More properly, the question should be “how was the chicken moved to cross the raod?” and the answer will be “in virtue of the sense-appetite implanted in him by God”.
COLONEL SANDERS: Damn – I missed one.

Most of these came from an email my sister sent me; I don’t know the original source. The text in blue is my addition.

The Divine Unity (A Simple Summa)

Whether “one” adds anything to “being” (See ST 1a, Q. 11, art. 1)One is convertible with Being, and adds nothing to it but the negation of division. Everything is either simple or compound; what is simple is undivided and indivisible; what is compound has no existence whilst its parts are divided, but only when they make and compose the compound; hence the existence of anything consists in the absence of division, and it follows that a thing maintains its being accordingly as it preserves it unity.

Whether “one” and “many” are opposed to each other? (See ST. 1a, Q. 11, art. 2)One is opposed to many, but in different ways, for one, which is the beginning of numbers, is opposed to multitude as the measure is to the thing measured, because One represents the first measure, and number is multitude measured by one, while One, as it is interchangeable with Being, is opposed to multitude by way of privation of multitude, as the undivided is to the divided.

Whether God is one? (See ST. 1a, Q. 11, art. 3)God is One, for that which causes a thing to be singular cannot be communicated to many; and this belongs to God, for God Himself is His own Nature; hence “God” and “this God” are the same. Wherefore there cannot be many gods, which is also evident from the fact that God comprehends in Himself the whole perfections of existence. If there were several gods, something would belong to one and not to another, and so he in whom was privation of anything would not be simply perfect. The same is likewise proved by the unity of the world, for one is the cause of one, and things are better arranged by one than by many, and are brought into a uniform order.  Whether God is pre-eminently one? (See ST. 1a, Q. 11, art. 4) Thus God is pre-eminently One, because He is pre-eminently Being, inasmuch as He has not an existence restricted to any other nature, but He is Himself His own Existing Essence, entirely indeterminate and absolutely undivided in act and potentiality, for He is in every way Simple. Hence God is pre-eminently One.