Over the past week I’ve been carefully considering the text of President Obama’s Notre Dame speech and, I must say, I’ve undergone a change of heart. I’ve decided to become as open-minded as he is. To celebrate my new found spirit of Modernity I offer to our fine showman/President this song I wrote to the tune of IT’S ONLY ROCK AND ROLL by the Rolling Stones. I do this in the hope that he will perform it at the next Democrat National Convention, for it would give people an idea of where he truly stands. To help the less careful readers discern the meaning I’ve colored the text: “B” is for babies and so blue denotes my enduring pro-life position which I share with the President; Red is the color of blood and creeping socialism and is therefore fitting for denoting my pro-abortion position; and purple is the color you get by mixing blue and red, denoting the new found open-minded relativism I now share with him. I hope this clears things up.
Just one more thing. I’d like to dedicate this song text to the clerics of the ROMAN COLLAR COMEDY TOUR who were so instrumental in helping to convert me. They have a new CD out and I listened to it as I wrote this song; they are my muses. And special props must be given to the well-informed editor of L’Obamaservi Romano (or whatever it is called)
If I could rip a baby apart
I would toss it all over the stage
Would it satisfy ya, would it help decide ya
Would you think yor Prez humane? Ain’t I humane?
If I could win ya, if I could talk ya
Dialogue so divine
Would it be enough for your pro-life trust
If I screamed I’m for change? I’m for change!
I said I now it’s only crock ‘n show but I like it
I know it’s a dog and pony show but I like it, like it, yes, I do
Oh, well, I like it I like it, I like it
I said can’t you see that your old Prez is about living?
If I would stick a probe in a womb
Infanticide right on stage
Would it be enough for your death’crat lusts
Would it ease my pro-life claims? Ease your brains?
If you could see down deep in my heart
Truth would trump the legal page
Would it satisfy ya, would it slide on by ya
Would ya think your Prez a Saint? I’m a Saint!
I said I know I only say it for your vote but I like it
I said I know I’m a dog ‘n pony show but I like it, like it, yes I do
Oh, well, I like it, I like it, I like it
I said can’t you see that your old Prez is about loving?
And do ya think that you’re the only vote around?
I bet you think that your the only vote in town
I said I know it’s only crock ‘n show but I like it
I said I know it’s only for your vote but I like it
I said I know I’m such a dog and pony show but I like it, like it, yes I do!
The Divine Lamp 